Moved to: http://www.turkeycreeklane.com/?p=74
Turkey Creek Lane
MOVED TO: http://www.turkeycreeklane.com/
MOVED TO: http://www.turkeycreeklane.com/
September 6, 2007 in Cancer, Courage, Courtship, Daughter, Death, Decision, Family, Family life, Father, Health, Home, Hospital, Husband, Life, Living Will, Love, Marriage, Memories, Mother, Personal, Relationships, Romance, Terminal, Wife
Moved to: http://www.turkeycreeklane.com/?p=74
Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.Ben Eastaugh and Chris Sternal-Johnson.
Turkey Creek Lane
30 comments
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September 6, 2007 at 11:14 pm
Robin
I’m sorry. I’ve been there and know how this hurts, like no other hurt in the world. Life will never be the same but it does get easier in time. My heartfelt prayers and wishes are with you and your family.
Robin
September 6, 2007 at 11:56 pm
LeBlanc
I am sorry for your loss. I couldn’t imagine going through what you have.
September 7, 2007 at 1:02 am
chughes
My condolences, Joy. What a brave man you father is! i say is because he is always your Dad. That doesn’t change.
My father passed similarly. Lung cancer. We were all there and i am grateful for that. i was a child of nine then, but i remember my daddy trying to get out of bed because he wanted to go home, then collapsing, exhausted, then dying.
My prayers are with you and your family.
~christine
September 7, 2007 at 2:49 am
Kim
Condolences to you and your family. I admire your father’s will to live throughout it all…. incredibly brave. Your post was tough to read, but beautifully written and very moving.
You and your family are in my prayers.
September 7, 2007 at 3:35 am
merrimerri
MY heartfelt sympathy and hugs ((((Jolynna))))
That was VERY hard to read…but not as hard as it was for you to write it..
I am so glad that the Dr helped him at the end..
take care…
September 7, 2007 at 2:16 pm
jiva
nobody deserves to suffer, he was a brave and wonderful soul and you have put it in to such heart felt and suitable words.
I feel for you honey and I can see you know how much he loved you all, which is his legacy and support for you all during his passing.
September 7, 2007 at 2:19 pm
jayedee
and so he went Home.
your post was difficult to read, but it truly was a loving and eloquent tribute to your father.
i’d like to leave you with the words to a steven curtis chapman song that we played at my son, jordin’s memorial service.
With Hope
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you’ve gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but …
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
‘Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
‘Cause we believe with hope
(There’s a place by God’s grace)
There’s a place where we’ll see your face again
We’ll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God’s plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father’s smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
‘Cause now you’re home
And now you’re free, and …
We have this hope as an anchor
‘Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so …
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope
you will be in my prayers during these next difficult days.
with respect and understanding,
jayedee
September 7, 2007 at 2:54 pm
barngoddess
joy, ((hugs))
I am so very, very sorry….
September 7, 2007 at 5:43 pm
healingmagichands
I am so sorry for your loss, Jolynna. My thoughts are with you today.
Your father lived as fully and as long as he possibly could, and you should take joy and pride in that. But no matter what, when we are born our physical death has been made certain by the fact of our birth, as the end of our lives as physical beings is the natural end of the life cycle.
I read beautiful posts like this one and remind myself of this fact, for I know that soon I will be facing the same loss. My father is 82, my mother will be 80 this winter, and I will have to deal with their deaths sooner or later. I am not looking forward to it, and I wonder if reminding myself that it was inevitable will ease my pain at all. I don’t know.
September 7, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Melany aka Supermom
I am so very very sorry. I am crying for you and your family.
September 8, 2007 at 3:45 am
Courage Defined by cancer.MEDtrials.info
[…] were released and said he would discuss vaccines with my father then. …article continues at jolynna brought to you by cancer.medtrials.info and […]
September 8, 2007 at 5:16 am
Simply Marvelous
How very sorry I am for this sad, sad news. You have written a wonderful tribute to your father.
It brings back the memories of my own father’s struggle for just one more hour of life as I stood by his bed. He was only 62 years old. Cancer.
You have been blessed to have had such a courageous father and one who gave all of you the greatest gift … he adored your mother.
The pain of the loss always stays, in time, the memories bring you comfort.
The older we get … the more we yearn for their presence. The blessing of having such wonderful parents … is the treasure they leave us.
I am so sad and so very sorry.
September 8, 2007 at 12:31 pm
rockyroadoflove
I am so very, very sorry.
When my brother died a terrible death last year, friends in Paris sent me this Robert Frost poem, hoping I would find comfort in it. I offer the same hope for you.
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey that we must take
And each must go alone.
It’s all a step in the master’s plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me, but let me go.
Robert Frost 1875-1963
September 8, 2007 at 1:13 pm
jayedee
just checking in to let you know you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!
September 9, 2007 at 4:05 pm
over50now
That is an absolutely beautiful tribute to your father. He sounds like he was a wonderful man.
September 9, 2007 at 7:02 pm
jolynna
I’d like to thank each and every one of you for your kind words, thoughts, prayers and poems. My daughter read many of them with me and your words meant a lot to us both.
This is the second time I have tried to respond here. I accidently lost my first message.
Just know that your words are appreciated, that I am reading, and how much it means to me that you took the time to comment.
Thank you again.
September 9, 2007 at 10:24 pm
jayedee
a little reminder for you today to be gentle with yourself. grief is a journey and it’s path unique for everyone who travels it. there is no right way or wrong way to grieve, there is only YOUR way, and whatever way that is, is ok.
i’m continuing to hold you close in thoughts and prayers.
September 9, 2007 at 10:58 pm
ellaella
I am so very sorry to hear this. Please accept my deepest condolences and know that you — and he — are in my prayers.
September 10, 2007 at 12:54 am
terra4incognita
My condolences to you and your family, jolynna. I’m so sorry to hear this. Your dad sounds like a strong and wonderful man, and your post is a great memorial and tribute to him. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
September 10, 2007 at 7:52 pm
paperseedblog
Jolynna, thank you for sharing this touching post with the rest of us. I am at a loss to describe how meaningful and important your writing comes across. Life is so fleeting, and its good to be reminded to feel blessed and savor every single moment.
September 12, 2007 at 4:42 pm
meiguotaiwanren
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
September 13, 2007 at 6:51 am
nouveaufauves
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas
Lets face it, Dylan was being selfish…. He did not want to lose his father. But which is better, to let go or fight? Does it really matter which attitude you chose when your life is over? I don’t much believe in a hereafter so this is it! Why not fight for a few more moments? Your story is so similar to my mother’s and my father’s death. It is very hard for me to read. However, you are getting your pain out and dealt with. Good. I have bottled mine up for years.
September 14, 2007 at 3:02 pm
jayedee
Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. ~Kahlil Gibran
September 15, 2007 at 12:51 am
healingmagichands
How are you doing? Still breathing in and breathing out? Know that we are still thinking of you and care.
September 16, 2007 at 5:17 am
jolynna
Thank you all so much for the beautiful poems and words. That all of you understood so well whatI was trying so hard to share means much to me now. I wish you could have known my father. He was not only a brave and strong man, he was a good man.
I am sorry so many of you have also been through this experience.
Nourveaufauves, I thought so much about Dylan Thomas’ poem during my father’s last year, it so describes my feelings and I believe much of my father’s as well.
Thank you jayedee for continuing to check back.
I appreciate all of you taking the time to comment and offer your words of comfort. Please know that I have been reading and appreciating your being here.
September 18, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Laurie
Your courage was defined by writing this post. I dodged the details of witnessing my father’s death for years. Thank you for sharing this.
I hope that you are healing and my thoughts are with you.
September 18, 2007 at 3:21 pm
chughes
It is good to see you back.
Blessings on you.
September 19, 2007 at 8:05 pm
jayedee
i was just down in the garden thinking about you and your parents and had to come back to the house and write how your dad’s love for your mom touched my heart.
theirs truly must be one of the great love stories of our time. oh not the glamorous ones you read about it books, but the down deep abiding kind that we all wish for ourselves and our children.
what a lovely example for all of us! thank you.
September 20, 2007 at 5:04 am
jolynna
Hi Laurie,
It was a very hard post to write. I was up all night and cried the whole time. But, I felt as if I had to do it. My father was a good man. Despite everything he was going through, even after he was admitted to the hospital and could barely breathe, his thoughts and worries were about my mother and the family.
I wanted to convey his essense, unselfishness, his love of life and courage. He fought to the last to stay with those he loved.
Chughes,
That you so much for your kind welcome back and blessings.
Jayedee,
I agree that there is a lesson in how much my father loved my mother. While he was still totally concious some of my father’s very last words and thoughts were for and about my mother.
I won’t share the exact words out of respect for their privacy, but they were as sweet and romantic as anything from any romance novel. That kind of feeling between people does exist, even in couples that have been together over 50 years.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. I really appreciate it.
September 27, 2007 at 2:48 pm
paintingartist
All I can say is I’m moved to no end and my prayers are with you and your family. Great to hear of a man who’s thoughts were for other people’s welfare moreso than their own. No doubt that sacrificial life of his brought him more peace than anything else could have.
Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing.